Wednesday, August 6, 2008

We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand

A morning routine for me usually includes a picture of me stumbling out of bed way too early for any sign of communication, squinted eyes, feeling for the bathroom so I can take a shower. Then after I throw my hair up, get dressed, and brush my teeth, my mom and I leave for work. She drives and I catch up on sleep that I foolishly put off until an appropriately late hour. When we get into the office, I put away files left on the work bar, unconsciously make some oatmeal and slowly awaken with the help of coffee in my cup. Larry, our mail guy, comes in with a new tropical shirt each day of the summer in hopes of fooling us when he decides to repeat one that will most likely depict palm trees, margaritas, or "beach babes". For a goofy middle aged man, he brings life to the front desk. When all the morning mail is sorted, I'm instructed by Marisol on little purple sticky notes in Japanese characters to make files. I remind myself to have her teach me kanji, but I never ask. The sound of grown women gossiping like high school girls in the cubicles behind me is always present. I spit out "good morning", without thought but with a toothy smile, to each person that walks in. Most mornings are a carbon copy of this with a few minor details that are different.

To shake up a few things, all of us were called into the conference room for a meeting. Expecting this to be Deb informing us of the new receptionist, I sat down next to Vivian. She's a sweet older lady who always asks about Alex and never fails to call me beautiful every day. We smile and joke about the possibility of us being in trouble. One of the managers sits down in the front of the room. She starts to speak but some people are still talking. She then tells us how we should continue to treat people with respect and kindness because "we never know exactly what a person may be going through. They may never tell us". She then says that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer. I sat still. I wanted to cry but I hardly knew her.

It seems so unfortunate that most of us never take advantage of possibilities we are offered every day. It is rare to find someone who appreciates life to the fullest who isn't faced with a life threatening illness. We complain about waiting in traffic, having to do extra unassigned work, the little that we have, or even worst, the fact that we have so much, but don't have more. People look down on the man in the street asking for spare change, but blow their money away on excess things. I've known Christians that can't accept difference but preach the love of God and I've known atheists that will give you the shirt of their back for nothing in return. We fail to say the things that need to be heard. It seems hard to appreciate the gifts in our lives, and we take for granted the ones that care most about us. I'm guilty. It's hard for me to understand how people can hold grudges over petty reasons. My mother has been ignored, ridiculed, and hurt for trying to love her own sister. My aunt will hold that grudge to her grave and it's the saddest thing I've witnessed. I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is never how we rehearsed it. Don't take for granted the time that you have with those who care about you. That woman is right, we never know what a person may be going through. Without thought, without question, show them kindness and compassion. Please don't wait for the unexpected to happen before you can love and appreciate all you have. Don't waste the life you're given. It seems like such an easy message to blow off because you've heard it a million times. Maybe someday words like these, from whoever chooses to speak them to you, won't fall on deaf ears.

If anyone hasn't heard of this book, it is about a teacher who is diagnosed with terminal cancer. It is his compilation of entertaining and inspirational thoughts, lessons, hopes, and regrets. His last lecture is also huge on youtube. I hope you'll check it out because I can't wait to read it.

1 comment:

Daniel said...

Check this out:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2008/07/25/ST2008072501227.html