I l-l-l-l-like the way you tell me how I walk it off much better than those built in crowds and you, oh you, you tie me into knots

I thought that I would squeeze one update in between my period of procrastination and studying for Calculus. Lately I've found myself alone in the room a lot at night, which can be really nice. I can do all the reading I want, I can sketch with the music blaring and no one is there to say otherwise. I can dance around in nothing and no one would be there to cause embarrassment. It's a little hiatus from life. And while this all may sound incredible for the average college student living in the dorms (none the less, living with two girls, not one), it gets old after a few weeks... the feeling of loneliness sinks in and replaces the bliss of having time alone. I don't want to be a whiner, so I've decided to do something about it. Maybe catch up with people I haven't seen in a while. Get coffee with an old friend. Something. I feel as if I've grown tired of ending my day with no one. Does that seem ridiculous? 

In other news, this has been a particularly amazing day despite the weather for some reasons which will remain unknown other than those containing breakfast and lease signing. Although we couldn't sign the lease for our new apartment this morning (which we are signing tomorrow, thank God), Jackie, Lis, Kaitlin, and I went out to breakfast anyway. I don't know what it is about good food and good friends that makes everything else that was troubling you in life seem so mundane. It makes you appreciate those times you spend with people you care about even that much more because you have something valuable. You have someone to laugh with, someone to bring you half baked ice cream to sop up your tears, someone to make dumb jokes with that really aren't that funny, someone to sing your brains out with when you're driving in the car, someone who will listen to the stories you tell a million times and never get tired, someone who generally cares about you the way you care about them. I love realizing this feeling after a few mishaps in life, when things seem clear for just a moment with good conversation. It makes me feel so contradictory about my last paragraph, because I know I'm not truly alone, and that any one of those people I call friends would be there if anything happened. I feel selfish for not seeing that sometimes when days get messy and complicated... but I am thankful that I have someone in my life like that, and not just one but many people that I can turn to or jokingly make fun of. It's a relief to have people who somewhat understand you when you don't even understand yourself.

Okay, this is long enough, back to derivatives.