Are you sure you want to delete these items?

I receive more warnings from the System Administrator on my student email account than a juvenile delinquent. "Your mailbox is over its size limit." appears the subject line next to a slightly intimidating red exclamation point. It's a daily ritual: sorting through all the emails that I get from the Vet Med department, career info from the College of Biological Sciences, Barack Obama news, offers from aerie, and the occasional update from a professor. I log in every day with at least 10 new emails waiting for me to read and delete. There's a reason for such little space and why I am constantly deleting the handful of new emails I receive: you're hogging all my memory like a selfish child who doesn't want to share. Yes, you silly emails that take up precious megabytes! Unfortunately holding even more valuable pictures and stories and impressions that have been collected and invisibly labeled "past". These tokens, how wildly inaccurate they appear to be now, are the last good pieces I have of you. You, who has impacted me more than I'd like to admit. You, who has ruined certain songs forever. I wish it were as easy to delete these transatlantic letters as it is to write you off for your insincerity and your blatant cowardice. However, even with the passing of time-- falling leaves that playfully flaunt the truth that summer is long gone-- I still don't have the heart to do so.

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you

Looks like I haven't made a mark on this for a while, and although a lot of things have happened since then, nothing seems like much worth writing about. That or for a better explanation, there hasn't been anything I've wanted to sit down and write about for other people to read... So let's talk about the present.

I find it wildly amusing that the second you stop attempting to look for someone to fill some ridiculous, sadly romantic void, four or five charming prospects seem to enter (or re-enter) your life... all. at. the. same. time. I mean, it would be pleasantly convenient for each one to be evenly distributed in time so that you would have some kind of affection or effort to devote, but alas my schedule determines otherwise. Not that I would ever want to juggle something like that because I don't think I could muster up the heart (or lack of) to do so.

I suppose another alibi would be that I just don't want to be tied down. It seriously feels like freshman year all over again, where you just want to experience new things and meet new people without holding back... I find myself increasingly enjoying all the alone time I can get, and I don't think I want to give that up for anyone just yet.

So, dear prospects:
Your secret playlist labeled "K" filled with only romantic songs, your love for living life in the past despite your current girlfriend, your family event invitations that play into my weakness for kids, your stark signs of change but late sincerity, or your year long attraction just recently revealed have each flattered me in different ways, others conveying more meaning than some. But until I have learned to stand on my two feet contently in my own skin, I would not and could not begin anything worthwhile to satisfy your intentions for us. I hope you will forgive me. More so I hope you will not forget me.

All the best,
Kimberly